I just finished my lunch. I sat outside on the front steps and had my sandwich (if you’re curious… it was tofu, sliced pickles, sliced cucumbers, mustard and greens on sourdough), while Poppy was snoozing in the grass, in the shady part of …well, her own garden, I supposed, since that’s what I called it in the last post. I sat, ate and observed the garden, including the gentle pup paw sleep twitches (she does that during sleep, which always reminds me of my boys’ tiny little sleep twitches when they were little).
Why would you care about all this? Let me tell you and you’ll then decide if it’s important or not. You see, as with any meals when I’m by myself, I have a choice between ‘immersed in something while eating’ versus simply being and eating. I chose the latter, but here’s why.
Too often, we reach for our phones, whether we scroll through social media or watch something from that never-ending to-do list (you know which one). Sometimes it’s reading, which you’ll say “hey, that’s good” but why would we not just be present while eating our meals. Is it because giving 20 minutes or so to a lunch break seems sinful? It’s not, we know that.
And yet… There is a nagging thought popping up. I mean, come on, all you do is eat while watching poppies flutter in the wind, with the occasional bug stopping for a quick kiss-and-go on the pink and red petals, and yes, the sleeping dog nestled in the grass by the garden bed.
And yet… it was easier this time. You see, we had just returned from a two-week vacation on a gulf island during which time I put social media and most of the screen time on pause.
That made it beautifully quiet which is why I find myself having a hard time making my way back to it. Life in real time has its perks, as we well know, and one of them is peacefulness. I am not one to just stare for hours at even the loveliest nature spot, as I get too restless, so I do things. During our holiday the days were filled with hiking, swimming, long coffee chats but also reading and studying too (we’re both enrolled in professional courses that have deadlines and exams, so that’s that). During and in-between, there was peacefulness though.
The absence of that noisy, nagging-thoughts-invading-brain-space activity* left room for living the day fully. One real life perk is prolonged focus. Taking as much time as you need to do something, whether that’s reading, studying, silently observing or thinking. That’s not a luxury. Even more so when doing paid work. What better way to get things done than without switching attention to something trivial and/or anxiety inducing (email, various other notification pings, social media ‘breaks’, news, etc.). All of these are many others unravel our focus, making it hard to return to doing work with the same degree of concentration and depth.
*Yes, there are many good things one can encounter on social media platform, but I suggest making it a timed affair, if possible, as that may just be the healthiest compromise (if you are a user that is.)
So… the big picture. That’s’ 60 minutes in a day, multiplied by 24 but really by 8, as we’ll allocate eight hours for sleeping, eight for work, and that comes to 480 minutes to use in a day. Cooking, eating, driving, doing whatever chores, will likely leave less than half as free time (maybe 120 minutes, if that). It comes but once. Sobering, right?
Here’s how it goes for me. If the day has been challenging, I find it comforting when it ends: another will follow, and it will be better (my quick self-directed pep talk). On the other hand, after a day well spent, I readily melt into good quality sleep (uninterrupted, feeling like a million bucks upon waking up kind of sleep). Then there are those days in which we give away too much of our free time to screens (for a lousy return too) and it feels like it’s being ripped away from you. No replays.
Taking a break from it all makes it that much more evident. And hard to return to it, unless for well-defined purposes (professional, let’s say) and even that feels difficult. It’s as if you’re leaving this realm where thoughts grow and bloom, and most importantly, you get to be, create, learn and enjoy slowness as it happens. Time and attention are yours, to use as you please, to build and grow as you do so, in whatever dimensions you need to or want to.
Today’s slowness was poppies and sweet pea flowers dancing in the wind, sleepy pup paw twitches and thoroughly enjoying my lunch.
And sure, that was the gardening to-do list taking shape with each peek at the (way too wild) garden beds and it’ll be a long one, but I am looking forward to it: harvesting calendula flowers to make infused oil and then salve; saving seeds from various greens that have now bolted; digging out garlic and picking beans, and so much more. (Speaking of greens and their seeds, I think I may have enough kale seeds for at least a quarter of the population of Kamloops, so there’s that). Gardening involves work, which can be exhausting and yes, frustrating too, but never overwhelming. Much like the ever-growing reading list. Exciting, a bit daunting, never overwhelming. But, as always, one caveat: you must reclaim time, however much free time it is that you have, depending on your life circumstances. However little there is, make it yours.
Each day, fully lived or not, only comes once. And since you made it all the way to here, I can only hope this was worth your time. But that’s for you to decide.